If they're gossiping behind your back… they are not your people!
If they are criticising and diminishing you in any way… they are not your people!
If they judge you for being you… they are not your people!
If they whisper, “I can't believe she did… I can't believe she said… who does she think she is?” they are not your people!
If they lie or tell half-truths about you… they most certainly are NOT your people!!
If you can't speak your Truth in front of them without they're looking at you like you just kicked a puppy (lordy, lordy)… they are NOT your people!!
If you need to tone yourself down, filter yourself or turn yourself into a pretzel in any way shape or form in order to survive time with them… they most definitely are NOT your people!!
If you have to be anything but your genuine, authentic, wholehearted ‘this is me in all my glory' self in order for them to be comfortable… they are not your fucking people, people!!
Now I totally get that there are times when we have to spend time with people who are not our people. #dutycalls
Just know… “these are not my people”… and adjust your ‘expectations' accordingly. DO NOT expect these people to ‘get you' or ‘it'… they can't. They won't. Leave it be…
AND spend as little of your precious Life with people who are not your people as possible!! Get it? They are not your people!!
YOUR PEOPLE are going to LOVE ALL OF YOU EXACTLY as you are!
YOUR PEOPLE are going to INSPIRE AND ENCOURAGE YOU to reach for the stars and GO FOR that CRAZY DREAM!
YOUR PEOPLE want YOU to become ALL that you can be…
They certainly aren't going to want you to continue to play small so they don't look bad/feel bad.
They certainly aren't going to feel insecure at the thought of you outshining them! They'll want you to SHINE!!
AND YES! Depending on the family… and sometimes… especially if it's your family… EVEN where your family is concerned… they are not necessarily our people!!
I've learned that small doses and strong boundaries can be a very healthy thing. I've also learned that there are some people we need to love from a distance for self-preservation.
The Truth is, what many endure at the hands of their ‘family' is no freaking joke! It's not because they are our ‘family' that they have special privilege to diminish, mistreat, manipulate or abuse us on any level.
People will often stay hooked into those dynamics out of some distorted sense of duty to the ‘family.'
Our FIRST and primary duty is to ourselves… always!
Here's the thing…
We become the average of the 5 people we spend the MOST time with…
Our mindset, health, finances, emotional and spiritual life… ALL of our personal development… will rise or fall depending on who we expose ourselves to regularly!! Who we spend the MOST time with!!
Don't believe me? Look over your shoulder at the last five years and who you spent the most time with. Right?!!
Now, ask yourself…
Who are you exposing yourself to regularly?
Are they who you want to be/become?
Seriously! Is THAT who you want to be in five years?!!
Because my Friend, know this…
What they have is catchy!! For better or worse…
So make sure you're catching the right stuff!
And fear not…
If you can't find mentors and a Soul-Mate-Tribe where you are… you can find them on the interwebs!
There are 2 billion effing people on FB alone!
YOUR Soul-Mate-People… YOUR Tribe… they're out there!!
Find them and Rise!!
Have a FABULOUS FUCKING day Gorgeous!! ❤️
#knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
