I remember reading somewhere, something along the lines of, “Don't feel bad if you don't recognize a narcissist for what they are right away. Even the most highly trained mental health professionals get duped in this regard. They are, after all, incredibly charming and very convincing master manipulators.”
I have a pretty keen eye, a ton of knowledge, and a lifetime of up close and personal experience. Mental health professionals actually come to me for help on the subject. And still… it turns out… not so long ago… I got played… by a ‘so-called' friend.
👑 Here's what I've been reminded of with crystal clear clarity…
✔️ We know that when toxic people can't control someone, they will try to control how other people see/view/perceive that person.
✔️ They will manipulate the facts and tell highly slanted versions of the story, sure to spin in just enough truth to make it ALL SO believable.
✔️ They will go out of their way to gather the troops. They work really, really hard at this one in particular… like it's a full-time job.
✔️ They will ALWAYS land on either the victim or the hero side of things… or both… but NEVER the villain… not even to the smallest degree. #blameless#shameless
✔️ They will appeal to our egos and flatter us… “You're the only one who understands. I really value your opinion. Thank God, I have you to turn to” sort of thing.
✔️ They will outright lie and deny and lie some more.
✔️ Their only real loyalty is to themselves, their wounded little egos and the agenda they're running at the time. Where everyone else is concerned, ALL bets are off!!
✔️ They lack boundaries. Like BIG TIME!!
✔️ They have zero issue putting you in an awkward, uncomfortable, and inappropriate position time and time and time again, IF you let them.#mymistake #iownmyshit
✔️ AND make no mistake, when your back is turned… under the bus you go.
👑 Here's the lesson and the gold I'm gleaning from the experience… at a whole new and much deeper level than ever before…
When someone is working really, really, really hard to convince me and everyone else they know how wrong done by they've been in their relationship…
How crazy, sick, and hurtful their partner actually is…
How abused they've been…
What a hero they are, etc, etc, etc ad nauseam…
RED FLAGS ABOUND!!
STOP!!
Tread VERY carefully!!
DO NOT be too quick to jump to conclusions, judge harshly, or choose sides.
Remain detached. Remain objective. And most importantly, hear BOTH sides of the story BEFORE deciding who's the keeper.
The scared, insecure, manipulative and destructive little ego of someone who lands on the spectrum of destructive narcissism HAS TO vilify anyone who isn't giving them their way… whatever that is in the moment.
Don't fall for the BULLSHIT!!
