I find it interesting (and sad) that even in mildly unhealthy families there's often that one kid/person who has been singled out.
Like there's a semi-conscious/unconscious agreement that it's ok to treat this one kid differently.
It's ok to ignore her.
It's ok to diminish her.
It's ok to hurt her.
It's ok to reject her.
It's ok to criticize every little thing about her.
And whisper poorly about her when she's not quite out of earshot.
It's ok to make it glaringly obvious to anyone with even one eye open that, “we just don't like her / accept her / want her around.”
I was that kid in my severely dysfunctional family and when I see it going on today ALL I want to say is, “WTF people?!!”
It's NEVER ok to single out one person in a family and make them the target and garbage bin for your toxicity.
That's called scapegoating and subtle or not so subtle it's pure fucking emotional cruelty at it's finest!
EVERY kid deserves to be Loved and accepted for the precious and incredible Soul that they are!!
Having endured decades of being the family scapegoat I can tell you that it takes mountains of work and the better part of a lifetime to fully heal the damage done.
Constant and never ending criticism and rejection is a very painful thing to have to endure, and it literally wires us, programs us and sets us up to attract more of it in every area of our adult lives… until we do the difficult work to heal.
Scapegoating a person is what unwell people in unwell families do to prop themselves up with a FALSE sense of superiority and relieve themselves of their own built up pain and unresolved trauma.
Believe it or not, there IS a better way… and it doesn't involve annihilating the self-esteem of a precious child!
People need to stop sitting around silently accepting, ignoring, tolerating and/or participating in this kind of bullshit.
In case you were wondering… SILENCE IS CONSENT!
It hurts. Stop it. Period!!
~ Tamie M xx
#knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
